How to Find The Man of Your Dreams
Special Preview Edition
~ Table of Contents ~
Introduction................................................................................................................. 4
Chapter 1 - Knowing What You Want............................................................................... 7
Chapter 2 - Where To Find Your Man .............................................................................. 27
Suggestion One: Men Love Golf ...................................................................................... 30
Suggestion Two: Consider a part-time job working in a man’s clothing store....................... 32
Suggestion Three: Habitually visit the library and/or neighborhood bookstore.................. 34
Suggestion Four: The Internet....................................................................................... 39
What Makes For Successful Internet Dating?................................................................... 40
Chapter 3 - Prepare Your Heart .................................................................................... 48
Chapter 4 - Now You’re Ready To Get Noticed ................................................................. 59
Chapter 5 - Once You Get A Date.................................................................................... 67
The Second Date.......................................................................................................... 77
The Third Date............................................................................................................ 84
Chapter 6 - The First Three Months................................................................................ 91
The Argument Women Can’t Win................................................................................. 92
Your Secret Weapon..................................................................................................... 95
Chapter 7 - The Second Three Months.......................................................................... 100
Chapter 8 - Months Six Through Twelve....................................................................... 103
Chapter 9 - Final Thoughts......................................................................................... 108
Suggested Reading..................................................................................................... 110
About the Author....................................................................................................... 111
~ Introduction ~
I want to tell you something. Regardless of what you have been through, it is possible to have a wonderful man want to marry you. I know because every year I get the privilege of seeing some of my clients have a wonderful man walk right into their life. For some, it’s the result of having a carefully crafted plan that they follow regardless of how silly or insecure they might feel implementing it. Others simply take a look into their past and realize how they have been unconsciously sabotaging their deepest desire to find love. Once the realization comes to them that attracting a man is pretty simple, love seems to find them, almost as though it was waiting on them right around the corner.
Perhaps you’ve heard such optimistic stories before and wonder if what you are about to read is nothing more than just a repackaged assortment of clichés such as, “You need to go out and meet more people,” or “You just haven’t found the right man” and my personal favorite, “If you weren’t so picky, you’d be married by now.”
I promise you’ll find none of that here. This book is about you getting results because nothing else really matters, does it? If you simply wanted to feel good about yourself and remain single, you certainly wouldn’t be reading this book. Every single woman I have ever counseled has experienced the feelings of loneliness when their friends are getting married and they are not. One client described it to me like this, “It feels like all my friends were invited to a party and I didn’t get an invitation.” It’s a feeling that is rarely discussed but universally felt by single women across the world.
It feels lonely sometimes, and hopeless, and no matter how hard someone tries, when these feelings arise within a woman, it is inevitable for her to wonder to herself, “Is there something wrong with me?” Or sometimes the question is, “Am I doing something wrong?”
Regardless of whatever questions or fears or doubts have come into your mind, you are going to learn how to attract and marry a wonderful man. If you noticed that I didn’t say ‘the man that you want,’ then your observation is very keen. For now I am going to suggest that you may or may not know what type of man you really want. If you’ve dated the same type of man for years without getting married, it might be that you truly don’t know what type of man is good for you. Even if you don’t, it doesn’t matter because, by the end of this book, you will know exactly what you are looking for and will never fear ending up with the wrong man.
For this to be successful I need something from you. It is absolutely essential that you maintain an open and curious mind throughout this entire process. If you are not getting the results that you want, then it is highly probable that you are doing something wrong and you must be willing to change either yourself, the way you present yourself, or even your choice of the type of man that you’re selecting.
The reason I feel so confident is that I offered a free 15-minute coaching session with the purchase of my first book, The Woman Men Adore and Never Want to Leave. Through those hundreds of mini-sessions, I observed that every woman was in some way contributing to their lack of success. Women do not marry the man of their dreams by accident. Some can tell you how they did it, while others just have an inner knowledge that enables them to attract men like flies. Rather than continue to speak to women one at a time, it became obvious to me that I needed to write a book that showed every woman exactly how to attract the man of their dreams.
CHAPTER ONE
Knowing What You Want
Here is a phrase that would save a lot of women countless heartaches when it comes to dating: Start before you date or it’s too late. By the time you are on your first date, a lot of things are already in place. Once you are out with someone, all your fears, insecurities and hopes are already in motion. No matter how much you think you’re going to be rational, you can’t be if you really like him. You’ll give him some indication that you like him and make it easy for him to captivate your heart. Once your emotions take over, forget about being rational.
If, on the other hand, you have a pretty clear idea as to what type of man you are looking for, the type of characteristics he needs to possess, and you have a brutally honest assessment of who you are, you’ll save yourself untold hours of anguish during your dating, because you won’t have to try to figure things out as you go along when you have all of your emotions mixed up in the process.
Once you go on a date, it should be fairly effortless because your objective really is to see if he’s any fun. We’re going to begin by finding out exactly what type of man you want to marry. I’m going to ask you some questions which will enable you to discover a more accurate view of the type of man you want to end up. Otherwise you will simply be practicing trial and error dating.
So, let’s begin with the idea that within a month to six months, somewhere in there, you’re going to be meeting someone wonderful. If that seems too long, then let me remind you that getting what you really want is always worth the wait. Now I’m not saying it has to take a month to six months, if someone wonderful pops into your life tomorrow, by all means, act on it. But if you’ve had any trouble finding the person who is in your heart, it usually means that your actions are incongruent with your beliefs. Something you’re doing or not doing is causing your dreams to not manifest.
Do you think this sounds too hocus-pocus? I promise you, any therapist, psychologist or coach who has had success working with singles will echo my statements. It’s not something I have made up. There’s a reason why some women are lucky at love and some women seem to struggle, even though both of them are similar in appearance. Since you can’t often see the difference, it must be an unseen quality that separates the successful women from those who struggle with getting and maintaining a relationship with a man. What’s on the inside of someone has a large impact on how lucky they are on drawing someone into their life.
If you describe yourself as being a “black and white” person, you are going to need to expand your thinking. Relationships are rarely “black and white.” There isn’t one perfect method that works with every man, every time. If there were, you would have already discovered it by now. What is true is that there are principles that can be learned that will nearly always produce the results you desire. I would be remiss with you not to bring this to your attention because my goal is to help you get what you want. I’m not telling you what you have to pick in a man. You tell me what characteristics you want in your man, and that’s our goal. So let’s go over a few generalizations.
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